As a Student
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I have been a student for the whole of my hitherto life.But in the literary sense of the word,I have been a student as part of the formal education system for 17 years,as enrolled in different schools and colleges.What were my experiences and activities during these years ? What experiments did I have been conducting as a student and what were their implications ? What were my achievements as a students ? What were my problems and limitations ? What were my weaknesses and bad habits ? All such things have been examined analytically and with a note of self-criticism here.
My life as a student was a 'mixed bag' comprising of every experiences a student might have.I was one of the worst students (as I was a man in my later life in the eyes of many who know me).in the eyes of some of my teachers and co-students.At the same time I have been one of the best students (as I have been a man in my later life) to some teachers and co-students.Some fellow-students hated me while some others liked me.I am a lonely traveller, aloof and odd,rarely mingling with others.But even in those days,as I could recollect,my understanding of others and their life-problems were very deep and comprehensive.Even when others consider me as a 'number one useless fellow' I was preoccupied in my mind with them and their feelings,sentiments and attitudes.When the physical distance between them and myself were widening,the proximity of my mind to them and their lives was becoming closer and closer.It is true even today with those who hate me.
I conducted many experiments with the external and internal organs of my body.I was curious enough to know everything.I wanted to know for myself, everything on everything despite what others told me or what I read from books on them.I wanted to know what would happen if I touch the flame.And I did tried to catch the flame of the kerozene lamp just like I touch a blooming flower and readers can just imagine what did happen.It was not with an ignorant curiosity of a small child,but with the somewhat mature curiosity of an adventurous teen-ager I did so.It was with the same curiosity I did many experiments wih my body system regardless of the consequences.It was with such a curiosity I egaged in many activities peole dare to do or even reluctant to divulge to others.One such thing was sex.For a short time I was also excited with the functioning of my sex organs.I did masturbate,in my utmost privacy,But I never made love and egaged in any kind of immoral activities as part of my experiments. I did realise that it was not good to pursue such temptations.But it is quite natural that adolescents become curious to know about sex.There should be some healthy arrangements for quenching their thirst for sex strictly within our cuture and traditions.Otherwise they would go astray.There is no point in scolding or punishing them.Their problems may be tackled by a positive arrangement in our social set-up.
In the classroom I was not so active,especially,in the primary classes.Though I ccupied the front seat,I never tried to attract the attention of the teachers and other pupils.I was a keen attender of the classes.When teachers ask questions,I would become nervous and faild to answer them,even if I knew the correct answers.Thus many others became smart by answering the questions as soon as they ask them.During appearing for written examinations also I would become nervous,excited and confused and could not write the answers.This has adversely affected my performace throughout my career as a student or a candidate appearing for various competetive examinations.I was not among those students who frequently asked questions to teachers.I had my own method of finding answers to my doubts.For getting the meaning of 'new' or strange I would refer to a dictionary.If the doubt is concerned with general knowledge I would refer some yearbook or master guide.There were no dearth for good books since my brothers had a good collection of such books with the help of which they prepare for the competitive examinations of U.P.S.C. and K.P.S.C.I was in he habit of thinking on everything.When I came across with something which I do not know I would think on it and then all my doubts about it would be cleared.Thus even without asking anyone I could manage to get hold of everything which I observe here.
I went forward with my quest for more knowledge ,more experience,mpre light and more horizons in life.with unfailing faith in everything Some of the extraordinary events during my student life have to be recollected.Once I could witness the total solar eclipse.It is the most spectacular astronomical event of the century.The newspapers and other media gave it due coverage weeks before the event.People were advised not to look at the sun with naked eyes.as it would adversely affect the eyesight,if not total blndness.But the event could be watched with proper precautions.And we could watch it in a TV.A section of the people were panic-stricken.But nothiing did happen to the earth and its inhabitants.due to any eclipse.There is no scientific basis in the belief that no food should be taken during an eclipse.But there was a belief among some people that no food should be taken in the absence of sun .They would not take anything after the sunset and before the sunrise.In Gandhijii's autobiography,he describes that his mother would look at the sky and she wuld take anthing only if she could see the sun.All the flora and fauna got direct energy from the sun.We also can get energy from the sun .It is the spirit behind the belief of not taking food during solar eclipse.Animals have some premonition to know natural phenomena and respond to them.During the solar eclipse there was darkness in the afternoon which I could observe and experience.Sometime before it animals like the cows began to low and go back to their byres.Religious believers gathered at their places of worship for prayers.By around 5 O'Clock the sunlight was restored as usual on the completion of the eclipse.Everybody was happy and resumed their worldly works.As a student I had availed of myself the opportunity to winess that rare phenomenon .
Another experience as a student was during examinations.For the Secodary School Leaving Exam.Our school was not a centre.We have to appear for the exam at Govt Ganapathi High School,Chalappuram,Calicut.
